Waves of Joy

A long December and there’s reason to believe…

that maybe this year was better than the last…

So much has happened that I don’t know where to start. Allyson Mae Wingfield graced us with her presence on November 14th at 12:26 PM. She weighed in at 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 19.5 inches long. One of the happiest days of our lives. She is absolutely perfection. It’s been one of the times of my life and one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I love everything about being a mother except for the no sleep thing. It’s definitely been a struggle. She hasn’t starting cooing or really smiling but I know it’s right around the corner. I’m excited to see what’s coming!!! We are just in love! Birth story later!!! :)

iheartbeans:

God, they are so good.

One of my favorite songs… Love them. RIP JL…

meganamram: Isn't it annoying when you're having dinner with your in-laws and they don't exist because no one loves you enough to marry you? »

(Taken with instagram)

Cha-Reece »

Damn my name didn’t make the list….

Voicemails From an Alcoholic…Chapter 3.

Growing up with alcoholic as a father was hard. Not only hard, but embarrassing. Not only embarrassing, but terrifying. It was so up and down. Sometimes he was fun and silly and loving and nice. Those times were the best because he was easy to get along with. Other times he was mean and rude and cocky and evil. After his 8th or 9th beer his demeanor would change and we would walk on eggshells to ensure that he would be a happy drunk.

October 9^th, 2010 @7:01 PM

(Length of voicemail- 1:26)

Hey sweetheart. How are you? Still haven’t been able to get a hold of Stephanie. You promised me that, well I just want to talk to her, good god o’Molly, you know. Uhhh, if you’re not doing nothing and you wanna come and pick me up take me up to where your husband is playing the piano, I’m game. I could use a night out. But you have to make sure I don’t get too drunk. I love you sweetheart, God bless you and I think of you every day you and your husband and pray for you. Believe it or not I know deep down in my heart that you’re good good people. You should know that as well about me. Alright hunny, call me if you can that’d be cool, alright bye bye.

Voicemails From an Alcoholic…Chapter 2.

My dad is really good at making me feel bad. Like really guilty, and I’ve never done anything wrong to feel this way. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m too nice and forgiving for my own good. But for some reason he has this ability to say just the right things to make me give in and accept things that were never my fault. There were times in my life where I had received the beating of my life and afterwards I would be the one saying “I’m sorry.” To this day I still apologize about everything. It’s always my fault. With the help of alcohol, my dad may sound sincere, nevertheless, he is far from it.

September 30, 2010 @10:38 PM

(Length of voicemail- 0:52)

Hi Sweetheart, it’s dad. I just thought I’d call. Just sitting here watching TV and all of a sudden you popped into my head and I started thinking about cha. And I said well heck she’s number one on my speed dial. I’ll give her a call. And say hey. I hope you’re doing well, and give my regards and best to Robby. I think about you every day and pray for you both every day and I pray that things are going well for you. You know I love you and always will. If you get a chance, give me a ring. Say hey. OK? Love you sweetheart, bye.

Just recently my father and I got into a heated discussion about religion. I attend church regularly and does not. Naturally he is always right, so when the question was asked for me to pray for him I told him that instead of praying I would meditate and send positive energy to him. One would have thought that I said I worshiped the devil. After the accusations of not knowing what I was talking about were done, I then politely asked him when the last time he went to church. I told him that he leaves me these voicemails with praying and blessings but he never ever attends a church. Don’t be fooled by his wording with religion. Like I said before, he has a way of making people feel bad.

**Update**

I’m still trying to figure out Tumblr so I’m not able to add a note to what my dear friend Jessica had posted. I agree Jessica, I seriously don’t think that going to church should change your views on religion. I feel that one can meditate and affirm from wherever they are. However, I feel that it’s a bit hypocritical of people to preach and convince me of something different when they do not practice regularly. You can’t tell me that you pray for me and in the same breath cuss me out and tell me how ungrateful I am. How can I take anything that was said before seriously? I cant. I won’t. I want him to talk to me when he takes religion seriously and not when it benefits him in conversation… :)

Voicemails From an Alcoholic…Chapter 1.

I’m going to write a book. And it’s going to be a big one. (that’s what she said) And it’s going to make me a lot of money. I should start by giving some background on me.

I am the oldest of 7. Yep, 7. I know, I’m only 28 and I have 6 siblings-all younger than me. I only grew up with four of those siblings, the other two I never met until I was an adult. My mom picked up our lives and moved us to the fabulous wonderful city of Las Vegas without my biological dad. Being that I was about a year old, this didn’t effect me. It wasn’t that bad until I became older wanting and yerning to know who he was.

My mom met and fell in love with the man of her dreams and they hit it off. Literally. I can remember their first fight between them and I was left hugging her ensuring that she was ok. At two. I was always left to pick up the peices. I helped raise my sisters and brothers all the time. Babysiting, cleaning, babysiting, cleaning, ect.

When my parents finally got the BIG D, (and by finally I mean 15 years later) I was thrown in the middle as the go to person for everyone. “Cherice, tell your mom that I’m going to call the cops because you’re not a fit person to watch those kids.” Or, “Cherice, tell your dad that the boys need to come home tomorrow.” From the voicemail below somethings just never change…

September 22, 2010 @8:40 PM

(Length of voicemail- 1:47)

Hey Reece it’s dad, how you doin’? Hopein’ I could just chat at cha, you know lonely old man over here, in the worst neighborhood in the world. All alone, never gets to talk to no adults or human beings it seems like anymore. Um, found out your youngest sister Stephanie is pregnant. Do me a favor, talk to Alex and say “It’s time he got married.” I mean point blank I mean isn’t that what you’re supposed to do when you got kids? (Long pause) Unfortunately sometimes it ends in divorce. (Long pause) And I know that first hand. But anyhoo (Long pause) I’d sure love to hear your voice and I hope and pray that you and Robby and everyone else is doing well and um, your little doggie uhhhh, what was it Ramona or no uhhh, what’s your dog’s name? Cutest little shit. God I can’t remember her name. Ahh, must be getting’ old. Well, I just had a birthday, I’m 54 now. I guess I am getting old. Anyhoo, I hope I get to talk to you soon, I love you sweetheart. God bless you. You know I pray for you every day. And give my best to Robby, Ok? Bye now.

What’s funny about this voice mail is that my sister Stephanie was about 6 or 7 months when this voicemail was received. Now don’t let him fool you. He chooses to live in the worst neighborhood in the world. No one forces him to live here. The main reason he lives here is because his rent is super cheap. Now that he collects social security he’s stuck. Also, I speak to this man at least 3-4 times a week. He hears my voice all the time. Why he wants to hear my voice 8:40 PM is beyond me…