My dad is really good at making me feel bad.  Like really guilty, and I’ve never done anything wrong to feel this way. Maybe it’s me.  Maybe I’m too nice and forgiving for my own good.  But for some reason he has this ability to say just the right things to make me give in and accept things that were never my fault.  There were times in my life where I had received the beating of my life and afterwards I would be the one saying “I’m sorry.”  To this day I still apologize about everything.  It’s always my fault.  With the help of alcohol, my dad may sound sincere, nevertheless, he is far from it.  

September 30, 2010 @10:38 PM

(Length of voicemail- 0:52)

 Hi Sweetheart, it’s dad.  I just thought I’d call.  Just sitting here watching TV and all of a sudden you popped into my head and I started thinking about cha.  And I said well heck she’s number one on my speed dial.  I’ll give her a call.  And say hey.  I hope you’re doing well, and give my regards and best to Robby.  I think about you every day and pray for you both every day and I pray that things are going well for you.  You know I love you and always will.  If you get a chance, give me a ring.  Say hey.  OK?  Love you sweetheart, bye.

Just recently my father and I got into a heated discussion about religion.  I attend church regularly and does not.  Naturally he is always right, so when the question was asked for me to pray for him I told him that instead of praying I would meditate and send positive energy to him.  One would have thought that I said I worshiped the devil.  After the accusations of not knowing what I was talking about were done, I then politely asked him when the last time he went to church.  I told him that he leaves me these voicemails with praying and blessings but he never ever attends a church.  Don’t be fooled by his wording with religion. Like I said before, he has a way of making people feel bad.     

**Update**

I’m still trying to figure out Tumblr so I’m not able to add a note to what my dear friend Jessica had posted.  I agree Jessica, I seriously don’t think that going to church should change your views on religion.  I feel that one can meditate and affirm from wherever they are.  However, I feel that it’s a bit hypocritical of people to preach and convince me of something different when they do not practice regularly.  You can’t tell me that you pray for me and in the same breath cuss me out and tell me how ungrateful I am.  How can I take anything that was said before seriously?  I cant.  I won’t.  I want him to talk to me when he takes religion seriously and not when it benefits him in conversation… :)